Are we using what we’ve learned? February 13, 2008

   Not that I suppose my thoughts have much to do with what Jack Johnson is singing about, but yesterday was certainly a day that made me wonder what I was supposed to learn from it. I can handle being really busy, prioritizing, systematically going through my tasks – but when things are sort of at loose ends, I get very frustrated. It’s not that I have no work to do, it’s just that most of it is long term, or I’m waiting for people to get back to me, or I battle motivating myself to work on something that is still very vague and in the beginning phase. So I’m trying not to define myself so much by my work and my sense of productivity, knowing that only the Lord is supposed to get the glory for anything I do, and that He is also sovereign over all that happens in my day, even an “unproductive” one  – but at the same time, my whole mood and spiritual state is greatly affected by what happens to me, and walking into walls (metaphorically), miscommunications, weariness unaccompanied by the satisfaction of a job well done, a sense of having such an infertile mind that can’t think more profoundly about what needs to be done, all seem to conspire to bring my spirit down. As always, a paradox that can’t really be worked out, but can only be lived in, hopefully coming closer to a God-glorifying attitude next time!