If not the contemplative life, at least a life filled with contemplation?

Another jewel from “Devotional Classics” is the section on Thomas Kelly, a Quaker from the early 20th century, who wrote:

A practising Christian must above all be one who practices the perpetual return of the soul into the inner sanctuary, who brings the world into its Light and rejudges it, who brings the Light into the world with all its turmoil and fitfulness and recreates it.

After reading this and excerpts from other authors of the contemplative tradition, I have felt a greater longing than ever before to know this kind of life, of having a soul that is adoring and contemplating and exploring the beauty of Christ on some level all the time, and that returns to that position quickly in spite of interruptions. Instead, at the moment I would say the interruptions, the “turmoil and fitfulness” of daily life, are the norm, and the moments of contemplation, of reminding and willing myself to think of Christ and worthy matters instead of uselessly daydreaming as I’m busy with other tasks, are the exception. Even when I will myself, the old habits take over so easily! And yet I believe this is nothing other than fulfilling the command to “seek the things above, where Christ is” (Col. 3:1), and another (for me, more helpful) way of saying that we should “focus on Christ” or “focus our thoughts on Christ”, oft-heard phrases in my church and among my spiritual friends there, one of those you hear so often you start forgetting what it really means.

This is the first time I in my life I really live in the city - living in a quiet, green suburb of Pretoria doesn’t count - where a main road runs just outside my window, the chapas start honking their horns at 5 a.m. and the roar of traffic never really stops except for late at night. I often long for complete quiet and seclusion these days, and it’s easy to think I would have a richer inner life if my surroundings were peaceful, like in a nunnery… And yet - could I learn to bring the Light into the world and “recreate” it, discover a peace that even my tense, easily anxious temperament can’t completely overthrow? Isn’t that the “secret” (though no instant fix!) to truly being Christ for others, finding the inner resources to minister and care and think of others’ needs in spite of personal difficulties?