Restful weekend August 24, 2008

I somehow managed to schedule a very uneventful weekend, but it was quite nice, actually. Friday I got quite a lot of work done on the contact list, and went over to my friend Cornelia’s house at 16h00 for a visit. Her new roommate from Brazil, Rubenita, as well as another Brazilian missionary, were there as well, making manioc “pancakes”, although they were not what we would call pancakes. Apparently you grate the manioc (cassava), press it through a cloth and leave it to let the water evaporate, or something like that, and a sort of coarse “flour” remains. This Rubenita simply put in a frying pan and mixed with margarine until it had a certain consistency and could be turned over. Normally you would eat it with condensed milk and coconut, but since we didn’t have any, we simply had it plain – it had an interesting texture and was really nice. After a nice visit with Cornelia it was almost dark, so she said she would take me home, but on the spur of the moment we decided she should just come over and watch a movie. So at least that was something social.

Yesterday I didn’t go anywhere, but had a lovely restful time, getting work done, doing stuff in the house and reading – I decided I shouldn’t despise this time, soon enough I will probably be longing for it again! I was at Woodrows’ for church today, and then went to a fairly new restaurant in town with Cornelia, Rubenita and Rosalina to celebrate Rosalina’s birthday (I had only found out about it on Thursday and it was a bit short notice). I was so glad that especially Rubenita could come along – the pace of the Portuguese conversation would have been considerably slower if it weren’t for her! We all found it incredibly interesting when Rosalina was talking about the course that she is studying, called “Communication for Development” and what she wants to do with it, namely go work somewhere in the “distrito” (like in a village) and help poor people. She had done a practical course in Namialo earlier this year and it was the first time that she had seen desperately poor people, she phoned her parents and cried – we, who as missionaries are so familiar with at least the stereotypical reality of poverty, even though we don’t see it every single day, were so amazed that a Mozambican could have had so little exposure to it! She and Claudia are both from Beira though, and I realise more and more that the centre and south of the country are like another world in some ways…

Trying to build up some momentum August 22, 2008

There is certainly less to write about now that the Conference is over… My quest for a new daily and weekly rhythm continues. I have been feeling that it was a pity I haven’t been visiting any more churches for quite a while, so this past Sunday I went to Allison and Angie’s church with them. The pastor, Vicente Manuel, works in the print shop at SIL and has been coming to the Fiel conference for a few years now, I believe, and the good things I had heard about his preaching were proved reliable in my own experience. It was certainly the most Biblical and fiery preaching I have yet heard in Mozambique, a very clear presentation of the gospel, though I felt he could have preached the Cross more. Their congregation is fairly small, but very warm and friendly and they clearly love each other. There was great excitement to have Allison back, and she was even asked to come up and sing a song, which she did beautifully. Even though it’s impossible to visit any church here and not feel like an outsider, it was a very pleasant experience of fellowship.

The rest of our Sunday was quite packed – Angie and I had arranged to borrow a friend’s car and go to the feira (the big Sunday market) – normally I hate it, since it is so crowded, but I needed some sort of sandals or flipflops sort of urgently and wanted one or two other things as well. The most rewarding purchase of all was 2 esteiras (bamboo mats) which Angie cut in half and put up on our veranda so that it covers the screened-in area about halfway – leaving room for light and air but making us invisible from the outside. Why didn’t we do this months ago? We ended up rearranging the veranda a bit and finally feel like we can sit there and enjoy it again! This was after we got back from a garage sale some other missionaries were having. We may need to return some of the stuff we’re borrowing from friends in a month or two, so we went there hoping to get some stuff for the house. I did get a nice dishrack and some loaf pans, but mostly bought books… House-wise it was a pretty productive day!

I went to do some work at Dr Woodrow’s on Monday and Tuesday. At first I felt depressed as the pile of work seemed unending, and I had some unpleasant (i.e. incorrect) post-conference accounting to finish up and report back on… The Lord was gracious to me though, and with that out of the way I felt greatly relieved, and slowly but surely started feeling like some progress was being made. I took an “at-home day” on Wednesday, mostly from a strong desire to set aside time again for language study! It was just as well I was home, since I wasn’t feeling great, so reading (Narnia in Portuguese! It’s so cool!) and working on vocabulary lists suited me just fine. Around lunchtime Angie went with me to the bookstore quickly, since I needed to drop by and she had been wanting to see it, but that only took about an hour. At 15h00 I had my first session with my language helper in I don’t know how long, which I think went fairly well. I didn’t get much other work done, but felt grateful for a good language-day. I ended up staying home yesterday and today also, though that wasn’t the plan – whether I’m doing my own time-consuming work (mostly updating our Fiel contacts at the moment) here or at Dr Woodrow’s doesn’t really make a difference. And I have been relatiely productive, a wonderful feeling! Today is a holiday – day of the city of Nampula – and as always I’m avoiding public transport, with people in a party mood…

Last night I went to cell group again for the first time in ages. It was lovely to see my friends again and feel sort of connected with other people again, though the message left much to be desired and the main focus of the evening was anointing and praying for this couple whose child had nearly died last year and still requires much therapy. I noticed once again, like a stranger seeing a situation with new eyes, how I had come to not even expect an encounter with Jesus at cell or church anymore, how I don’t even seek a meaningful experience of corporate worship…. Just before that I had been chatting with Rubenita, a new Brazilian lady with New Tribes, about how much she misses the girl she had been having Bible study and prayer with in Brazil. I am feeling generally sad and disappointed with the level of fellowship and sharing in my life, but I don’t quite know what to do about it…

Three amigas together again! August 16, 2008

I’ve had better weeks and it hasn’t been conducive to keeping up with the blog. I was truly enjoying my time of working at home, which also gave me time to shop, cook and generally organise my life. On Tuesday I got a call from Dr Woodrow, when I guess I should have checked with him already, confirming that work was indeed piling up and that I would have to go in on Wednesday. I was therefore “at the office” from Wednesday until Friday, and my latest juggling feat includes keeping track of the men who have registered to work on the hospital, brick layers, electricians, etc., of whom more will be registering on Monday; updating the information we got from the men on the Adopt a pastor project, getting new men registered and making sure my information is the same as Kevin Millard’s and Karl’s, as well as sending out books for July and August (I am so going to be behind on that); at some point I need to send out the latest edition of the Faith for Today magazine, which I sort of wish had arrived later; getting a final report ready of conference book sales, inventory levels and inventory discrepancies – there are a depressing amount of the latter; putting in a new order with Editora Fiel. This has been a fairly productive week and I need to remind myself to take one day at a time, but at times I get so down and just wish this backlog was over!

The highlight of this middling week was Allison’s return from Brazil on Thursday evening. Angie and I went over to our friends John and Susan Iseminger’s house, we had dinner and then all went to the airport to pick her up, returned to the house and had dessert while she had supper and we could get caught up a bit. It was already past my bedtime when we got home, and then we were still getting gifts (birthday and just because) – coffee, chocolate and a stunning beaded very Brazilian bag for me! I then struggled to sleep and mostly dragged my body through Friday. I had gone to SIL at 8h00 with Allison to see the school where Angie teaches have their Mini-Olympics – it was very cute! I stayed for an hour and then went to work. It was great to just watch a movie and have a girls’ chat last night with my two wonderful friends, and to have someone to talk to about how depressed I am about work. The Lord is good in the midst of troubles…

A most glorious weekend August 11, 2008

About a week and a half ago I was in the bookshop talking with another missionary, and he suddenly said how hard we had been working and that I really ought to get away. He said he knew some South African missionaries in Nacala who had a little place on their property where people can stay basically for free. At first I filed this information under “useless daydreaming”, but as the day went on I more and more started wondering whether we couldn’t make it work! To make a long story short, we phoned them and they were more than willing to let us come; then, at first, Angie and I would have borrowed some SIL people’s bakkie to drive down, but that was then unavailable and we decided to still both go, but to go by chapa. It was fixed that we would go this past weekend and a friend gave us a ride to where you get all the chapas for out of town just after Angie was done for the day at the SIL school.

I had been the slightest bit apprehensive of the chapa ride out to Nacala, but it was actually quite a smart little bus, which under normal circumstances would have seated about 30 people, I think – in reality I think there were about 50! There was one single row of seats, an aisle and then two more seats, and after a while I noticed that there was a little collapsible seat next to me (which would then go in the aisle) – this however meant not that 4 people would sit in a row, but 5! It could have been a lot more uncomfortable though, and I was just happy that we were sitting on the seats on the side. We waited quite a while until the bus was full and left at 13h15, but it was quite a zippy little bus and we were in Nacala just after 16h00 (I think by car it is about 2 hours). We had only made some short stops the last half an hour or so for people to get off and to be able to buy vegetables from the vendors who crowded around the bus. After getting a bit confused as to where we were originally supposed to get off (I somehow always manage to do something stupid like that) we easily arranged with our hostess, Rina,  who was kind enough to come and pick us up, to just get us a bit further along. She then took us to the market so we could get some vegetables, fruit and bread, and that, along with some things we had brought with us, was enough to last us for the weekend. We got to their property at about 16h45, which is  on a sort of peninsula, I think across from the Nacala harbour, and for those who know the area, a few hundred metres from Bay Diving. We were shown around where we would be staying, repeatedly urge to make ourselves at home, and then we still had time to watch the sunset from the beach, which was about 5 minutes’ walk away.

It was a lovely relaxed weekend – in the evenings and on Saturday afternoon,  we watched a really nice British miniseries. Hustle, and both mornings we went for a swim around 9h30. We could read in the shade of the tree outside our little house and I was incredibly peaceful and happy for the whole time we were there, just relishing God’s gorgeous creation and feeling loose and free from responsibilities and worries. On Saturday the weather was glorious and the sea perfect for a coward like me, no big waves, just lovely water to deep to stand in, like a huge swimming pool. Yesterday morning we went for a walk in the direction of Bay Diving and wanted especially to find another way down to the sea and see a different beach, since there were too many rocks to walk from one area to another. From where we did find a path, we ended up just around the corner of the beach just below Bay Diving, and on the spur of the moment decided to have breakfast there. I had felt we should have left a bit earlier, so this seemed much nicer than hurrying back and organising something for breakfast before swimming, before it would get too late to be able to go. It also gave us a chance to reflect a bit on what we had been thinking and praying about during the weekend, concerning possible future choices and current decisions that both of us need to make in our lives. Our swim wasn’t as nice as Saturday – it was terribly windy, so the sea was choppy, and I touched 3 small jellyfish with my arm or foot, which started to freak me out, so after lying in the glorious sun for a while we headed back, and then unfortunately it was time to shower, pack, eat and leave.

The return journey was a bit more colourful than Friday’s. When we got on the chapa, it seemed just about ready to leave, but it went in the right direction for a while, then turned around, then stopped at 2 or 3 different places and seemed to be looking for more passengers all the while. Perhaps he couldn’t turn off the engine without starting it again with great difficulty… We finally left Nacala once again around 13h15, but still picked up many people along the way, most of whom had to stand. I could put my bag under the seat this time, but it was a bit more cramped and my one knee got a bit sore – I couldn’t stretch my leg, because there was a duck under the seat in front of us who wanted to peck my feet! At Namialo (about 1 1/2 hours from Nampula) the guy with the duck got off, but they loaded a goat onto the roof. Around half and hour later there was a lot of shouting for the driver to stop – the goat had fallen off the side and was suspended by its tether. I felt sorry for the poor thing, but it was quite funny… And of course all the commotion set the chickens off clucking. Without too much more ado, we got to Nampula about 16h30 and were home, after a stop by the Sunday market, around 17h00.

Reality, of course, can’t be evaded and this morning has already been a bit frustrating. Yet my spirit really feels refreshed, and I feel I could simply enjoy Jesus for a day or two and get some perspective on my life. I should do this more often!

A different kind of week August 7, 2008

It feels quite strange not to have a myriad happenings to report on right now – but very nice to be out of the beehive of activity! After a lovely weekend, Monday was pretty hectic. The workers needed to be paid, and most of them needed to be paid on a different payscale for the hours they worked for Fiel at the conference than for the hours they worked for Grace Missions the rest of the month. We also had to reimburse them for the months of April and May, when the labour department had already changed the new minimum salaries, but we only started paying them differently in June. It wouldn’t have taken a rocket scientist to do these calculations, and yet I believe I’ve mentioned how terrible I am at numbers…. Dr Woodrow also kept asking me questions about Conference and bookstore finances, making me feel very indolent for not having already sorted all of that out.  I left just before 17h00, quite discouraged about how overwhelmed I was once again feeling, and not looking forward to Tuesday very much. By the time I got there, the next day however, Dr Woodrow was already paying the guys, and aside from some bits and pieces of work and getting the social security documents ready, I suddenly didn’t have that much pressing work to do, and left at 12h00, feeling like a schoolkid on the day school comes out for the holidays!

I did have a reason for leaving earlier: Angie and I have been trying to find time to go to town together to look for a small countertop oven. We don’t have space, money or the desire for a big gas oven, we get along fine with our two gas burners, but we do get exasperated with never being able to bake anything or make a oven-baked main dish. Anyway, we had talked about going this Tuesday, because she gets back from the school earlier. We ended up going to one store, finding what we wanted, and carrying it home with us, all in about an hour! We knew this store well by sight, but had never gone there – what a world of technological advancement right here in the backwater fo Nampula! For a pretty high price, you can get anything from stereos to treadmills to perfume in this store, and it’s all very shiny and new and impressive. We felt a bit silly walking home with this big box, but it really didn’t weigh very much and arranging for delivery seemed unnecessary. After laughing until the tears streamed down my face over the instruction booklet’s English, we found a space for it and I went to borrow some pans to make banana bread the next day…

Yesterday was my birthday (belated congratulations welcome… ) and though we had often been apart on the day itself, it was a bit weird and depressing to think that for the first time in 27 years I would not be able to celebrate with my sister this year. It was a lovely day, though, quite domestic. I went shopping, suddenly remembering about a lot of things I’ve been wanting or needing, as well as wanting something nice for the little birthday dinner we had planned, and ended up spending a rather big sum on “luxuries” such as olive oil, a Pyrex dish (for the new oven), tealight candles and frozen veggies. Happy birthday to me! I did indeed inaugarate the oven with 2 banana loaves, which took a very long time to bake and turned out looking a bit sad and flat because I kept peeking to see whether anything was happening – but they taste superb. Angie and I had our friend Cornelia over for dinner and an old Agatha Christie movie – as one of my friends said, a lovely Most Eligible Bacholerettes-evening! I’ve been so blessed with wonderful friends that share my new life, the Lord is so good to me.

I had wanted to get at least some work done yesterday, but the hours just flew by. Hopefully I will be slightly more productive today, though not feeling fantastic and greatly tempted to go back to bed and pretend the world doesn’t exist for just a bit longer…

My life compared to Zimbabwe = paradise August 5, 2008

I have a friend who is a carpenter (she doesn’t really usually call herself a missionary) in Zimbabwe, and who has been there for over 15 years. I asked her how things were there right now, since it’s so difficult to figure out from the news reports what day-to-day life is like. She said the following:

The current Zim environment is very confusing and besides strength and wisdom we all need to pray for a higher IQ to deal with hyperinflation in the trillions and Quadrillions, and since last friday the first of August as the reserve Bank decided to slash 10 Zeros of all currency it is even worse.

Prices have scyrocketed and what little is available in the shops is unaffordable for most people. NGO’s are still not able to deliver food aid, and the tension in the rural areas is still high. The worst is that people no longer trust each other and are not sure of who is who, and even within families some support this side and others the other side. There are a lot of internally displaced people and how they cope with the stresses and trauma I can’t begin to comprehend. churches are literally inundated with requests by people in need for everything starting with assistance for funerals, food, counselling and you name it.

I realised once again how safe and troublefree my life is, how easy my access to whatever I need in terms of food and other daily necessities (not luxuries ), how unhindered in pursuing my ministry. Things could have been very different! It makes me wonder whether I would have stayed if Mozambique were it in a similiar state to Zim – would I have joyfully persevered in seeking the Lord, or been driven to doubt and exasperation by the daily inconveniences and continual uncertainty? I conclude that I still need to trust my Lord so much more in every situation, grow much closer to Christ to be able to endure whatever sacrifice He may ask of me in future, and, certainly, pray more for Zimbabwe.

After some time to reflect August 2, 2008

Though I couldn’t do nothing all week, it was a strangely wonderful week of afternoon naps and rest times that made me feel a lot better quite quickly. On Tuesday we could finally move all the bookshelves and books back to the bookshop – it was quite a pain that because of this new (?) regulation that nearly landed us with a fine, the driver had to park the big truck a few blocks from the bookshop, by the railroad, and then they had to put all the boxes and shelves in the Landrover, which could then drive to the bookshop. I think it took 7 trips to get everything there! Even though I wasn’t doing much, this whole convoluted process had finished my patience for the day, so I stretched the unpacking of the boxes, rearranging of the shelves and inventory out over several days, only finishing on Friday. By Thursday I started feeling like a thinking, feeling, normal person again and not just a bunch of exhausted nerves. Dr Woodrow was busy presenting his seminar on systematic theology all week – he had 19 students, and there were 30 in Gilson’s class on expository preaching, so this was quite exciting for us, it was the most students that had yet attended, in spite of moi messing up the publicity for these courses…

The next order of business seems to be how to face life after Fiel – how to balance the bookshop, the Projecto (distribution of books to pastors) and the admin of the hospital work. I hate it when I feel like I have at least 2 jobs, one done during the day at Dr Woodrow’s and one in the evening, catching up with bookshop/Projecto stuff. I also need to start seeing my Portuguese language helper again and studying – my vocabulary is pathetic! I need to read, to think, to write, to be intellectually creative again… I need a deeper, truer inner life than I do at the moment. And yet I am so afraid of all these resolutions flying out the window as soon as hospital construction starts. I need to pray for a lot of wisdom! But I realised again how privileged I am to be doing a job I love, with a ministry I am passionate about, that the Lord has somehow chosen to give me something to do that means a lot to me. May I manage not to lose this sense of wonder and gratitude when I am doing the jobs I don’t love quite so much!

More pictures to follow, this takes forever…