Yesterday morning my Mozambican friends, Claudia and Rosalina, were supposed to come by for a visit, yet at the last moment they had to cancel. Something always seems to happen to mess up my chances to see them, and consequently I tend to feel that we make no progress in our friendship, never get beyond a certain superficial level. I am feeling quite frustrated about this at the moment! I took care of some stuff at home, and then went over to Allison-Angie-Kelly’s around 12h00. It was good to catch up with Angie, and at one point we were all discussing my issues, and then we somehow never really all shared or prayed with one another – maybe they have just been feeling stressed out with almost being at the point of moving to their new place and lots of stuff going on – but I was disappointed. Afterwards I went by Roland and Susan Seiler’s, and got some long-awaited things of mine that at first nobody could locate and then finally turned out to be with them. They raised some doubts about the condition of the road driving up here, so now once again I am not 100% sure the car should come up with Dr Woodrow, or stay in SA. I hate it when I thought I knew how things were going to go and then I get thrown a curveball again… Church today was good and then I came home, watched a movie and stuffed envelopes. I will be really glad when all these brochures have been mailed out and I can focus on something else again! O yes, and I phoned the pastor that was looking at my work laptop – it’s dead as a doornail. Yet he had the wonderful news that somehow, I don’t know where from, he has a laptop for me that I can use until I get a new one. The Lord is so incredibly good to me! Now I really need to make work of finding a replacement, but in the meantime I hope to get busy on the mailing I need to get out.
Something to truly pray about February 20, 2009
This morning I got an sms from one of the local MAF pilots’ wives, asking me whether I am still looking for a roommate. She then asked the girl concerned, Erica Snyder, a 23-year old from the States, who is coming out in August to teach (I am not sure who for) and is keen on having a roommate, to email me, which she duly did. I then emailed her with some info on myself, my routine and what I am looking for in a roommate, as well as the area and pros and cons of the apartment. Keeping in mind the difficulties of the past, when my personality and Allison’s were really not a good match, I don’t want to get excited too soon and feel we should pray about it carefully. I can’t help feeling a little bit excited though! The week started out emotionally incredibly difficult, and yet the last few days the Lord has shown me his grace in small (the gift of some cooking pots) and big ways and I am once again humbled. Thank you for praying about the anxieties in my life right now, maybe the help is indeed at the door!
Nothing very interesting going on February 20, 2009
I was looking forward to having a profitable meeting with my bookshop staff members yesterday at 11h00, and was very busy here in the flat until I realised I needed to leave, and got there a little bit late. To my great chagrin, 2 of the guys, brothers, weren’t there, something about a family member that they needed to show around in an unknown neighbourhood. The thing is, I had already rescheduled the meeting because of the one guy, Aquiles, who will be leaving for university in another town next month anyway. Therefore, not only do we possibly need to get someone in his place, it almost seems as if there’s no point in having another meeting, though there are things I wanted to ask him. I am so busy with these conference brochures that the thought of taking 2 hours out of another day for a meeting is unbearable. On the plus side, I and the two guys who were there, one of whom has only been working there 3 weeks (but goes to our church and is well known to us) had a good time of prayer about the bookshop and things we would like to see happen there in future.
Last night was one of useless regret and annoyance – I had looked forward to seeing my Mozambican friends again at cell group, and because I hate making people wait while I lock up my house, I was outside waiting for my ride at about 19h20 – which is already quite late if you think that we’re supposed to start at 19h30. I was kicking myself for not taking a nap in the afternoon and feeling immensely tired, and she didn’t come and she didn’t come – eventually at 19h55 I called and decided to stay home, after which my one friend sms’ed and I felt so bad about my decision – but I was in bed and asleep by probably 20h45, I just couldn’t do it. Now I have to schedule another time to see my friends, darn, when I am really busy… I am waiting right now for a really nice Mozambican guy I know to come and fix my bathroom light switch – ever since last year before I left the one light has not been able to turn off. Two Saturdays ago a friend came by and sort of fixed it -he somehow got it wired so that both lights turned off and on with the same switch – but at least it turned off. Unfortunately, it only lasted for 4 days and since then 2 lightbulbs instead of one have been burning 24/7, so I have using a frightening amount of electricity. I need to go to town sometime and pick up conference registration forms from the copy place and go by the market, but other than that it’s me and my printer and envelopes today.
Living with uncertainty February 19, 2009
In the Narnia book Prince Caspian, in a part that was sadly left out of the movie, the dwarfs and other creatures waiting for reinforcements have pretty much all given up, saying that Aslan doesn’t exist and even suggesting that they should rather align themselves with evil forces, since no other help is ever going to come. However, Caspian persists in his belief in Aslan, and says, “The help will come. It may be even now at the door.” And indeed, very soon the Pevensies burst through the door. I think of this often, as in my life and the lives of quite a few of my friends, it seems to be ordained that a lot of the time we are in situations that to us appear insuperable and hopeless, and it doens’t look like the Lord is going to help. As in so many wonderful pictures of the Christian life, CS Lewis was saying in this book that we, too, are in circumstances where we simply don’t know what is around the corner, what is going on behind the scenes. Therefore, I can only keep on reminding myself of this, and asking for the help to truly believe and trust my Saviour. At the moment , I’m rather “in the dwang”, as we say in my family – no other single women seem to be on their way to Nampula soon who could possibly share my place with me, and support that I was depending on never came through. I don’t know whether this all means that I made a mistake, should never have gotten the apartment and should get out of it as soon as possible, OR, whether the Lord has some hidden plan with all this, has let it all come about and will provide the perfect resolution in the end. That is something that you can please pray for with me!
Back online February 18, 2009
I had been feeling increasingly frustrated with having a blog and never updating it! I knew when I got back to Nampula I wouldn’t have Internet for a little while, but I didn’t anticipate having a lot of urgent things to deal with and therefore a desperate need for Internet! I managed to go and bother my friends at the New Tribes Missions office twice, and also to use Dr Woodrow’s Internet a few times, but I hated having to nag him to move away from his computer each time. And there is nothing worse than getting home and discovering that you forgot something you had wanted to do while online! However, last year I had looked into a company called Intra, who have a mobile modem like Iburst in SA, and after considering my options I decided to sign up with them, and had my connection by late afternoon this past Monday. Yesterday afternoon when I got home, around 15h00, there was no connection, but I think it’s connected with a big problem the whole city is having. It has something to do with the telephone company who are in charge of, if that’s the word, all the fibre-optics that the banks and all the different Internet companies rely on, and recently it has happened quite often thaqt nobody has Internet or can get cash from the ATMs, sometimes for days on end. This morning I had Internet again, which I was very happy about!
When I stop wasting time online 
, I need to start printing envelopes for sending out brochures for this year’s Fiel conference. It feels so odd to be doing it in the middle of February, but since the Conference is 6 weeks earlier than usual, it definitely needs to be done as soon as possible. I can’t work at the Woodrows’ anyway, since my laptop there, which is on its last legs anyway, is being fixed (hopefully). Hopefully it will be a profitable few days at home, and in the meantime I have a lot of blogs, news etc. to catch up on.
Update from South Africa December 13, 2008
Wow, it has really been a long time since I’ve been able to write. Just a brief update on my last weeks in Mozambique and what I’ll be doing until my return there early February:
Building permit: we finally got it! I think it was around the 21st of November that we heard that it was renewed. So that is one thing that will not be delaying or complicating the construction any longer – the Lord is so good!
Flat: I got a new place, but haven’t completely moved in, that will have to wait until I am back. I am very excited – it’s big, has lots of light and is very secure. I am however still praying about exactly who will be sharing it with me, and trying to relax and just leave all the financial stuff to the Lord, but sometimes it’s hard not to worry a bit…
Fiel: My books for the reading programme arrived about 2 weeks before I needed to leave for SA, so I just had time to mail the books for September until December. I am busy designing a brochure that I want to get printed while I am in Pretoria in January, and have many other ideas that will hopefully come to fruition in the new year.
There was unfortunately some unpleasantness right before I left as well – at the bookshop I was missing quite a bit of stock and a number of factors point towards a member of our staff possibly stealing from us. We have increased security measures and aren’t rushing in with a lot of accusations, but this was quite upsetting for me.
I left Nampula on the 29th of November, got to Maputo around 16h00, was picked up by colleague Karl Peterson and finally got to Barberton that night at 22h00. The next morning I did a short presentation at their church and mostly enjoyed visiting with the congregation and spending time with their family. We also had some good talks about the past year and the year ahead – Karl and his wife are always full of excellent advice and are good listeners. On the 1st of December I took the bus to Pretoria, but arrived 2 1/2 hours late because of a delay at Johannesburg station. I was very tired that whole week, attending 2 Bible studies and having some friends over one evening, so even though it was nice to see friends from church and also catch up with my missions elder, I was very grateful when my sister and I could drive to Vryheid, Kwazulu Natal, on Saturday the 6th. At the moment I have a pile of books and a pile of DVDs to get through and am trying to get some perspective on the past year, and especially the last few weeks that were particularly stressful. I am happy, I am looking forward to the year ahead, but I am also exhausted and emotionally drained (somehow the two states co-exist) – frankly I think I was raving a bit when talking to anyone up to now and am glad that any more “serious” conversations about my life and work are on hold until January. I am so blessed to be able to be with my mom and sister and that is all that I need right now!
Thank you for your prayers and thank you for keeping up with the blog when I did get the chance to write!
A stressful few weeks November 15, 2008
Hmmm, where to start with an update of the last few weeks? After seeing quite an assortment of some of the crummiest apartments in Nampula, I finally found a place I like. The rent is $500, which is sort of what I was looking at, as the idea is that I will share it with someone, specifically I am hoping to share it with a girl called Kelly Jarvis, who just arrived in Nampula this past week in order to teach at the SIL school for 2 years. For a while I was incredibly undecided, though, because suddenly my roommates mentioned that Kelly needs to stay on the SIL centre, go through orientation and only then make a decision on where she wants to stay. During our email correspondence, though, she seemed to be keen on the idea of us sharing the place. I guess for me it came down to a spiritual struggle of What is the Lord’s will for me? and I found myself once again in a place where I just didn’t know whether I was doing the right thing. It’s as if I believe, basically, in the “All things being equal, do what you want” approach to the Lord’s guidance, but when I need to make a decision, I somehow still want a sign, or inner peace about the decision, or some other really clear token of what I am supposed to be doing. Eventually, I decided that I was being silly and acting contrary to how I believed the Lord deals with us, and after praying about it and weighing up the pros and cons of my options, I decided to go ahead and sign the contract, and trust the Lord for whoever He wants to put in there with me. Last Saturday we moved some furniture (a lounge suite that I can borrow from some people who just went away for a year) and some of my other things, even though, had there ever been any doubt, it has now become overwhelmingly clear that I will not be ready to move over there completely before I go to South Africa. I am getting excited about this new phase of my life though! For a while I was simply sad about everything that is once again changing, and the fact that some things I will miss about living with Angie and Allison, but one can’t live in the past and I am ready to look forward to new, good things in my new place!
Just when I had about given up on receiving the books I need for the reading programme, I got 10 of the 12 boxes I am supposed to get on Thursday. So now everything has suddenly gone into top gear again as I am trying to get this mailing taken care of as quickly as possible – I was feeling stressed about work as it was! And then on Thursday something else sidelined us – when I went out for my walk that morning, the guard (whose things I usually get from him at that time) was nowhere to be seen. I thought it was odd, but first left it and decided to deal with it when I come back from my walk. Well, he still wasn’t there, and when I went over to where he normally sits, his shoes and backpack were still there…. To make a long, complicated story short, somewhere in the early morning hours a bunch of men had come running out from the back of the houses somewhere, and our guard thought they were chasing a thief, and started shouting “Thief!” himself. Suddenly, they turned on him, saying that he was looking mighty suspicious sitting there in the shadows (uhm, that’s where he always sits, how is that sinister?) and beat him up very badly with a sjambok, then had him thrown in jail. Poor Allison had to deal with all this on Friday, since I had this tonne of work and Angie had to teach, but the Lord was really gracious – just as they were about to transfer him to the main prison, one of the policemen came and told his brother that he can go, he just needs to get back on Monday for a discussion between all the parties. I was very relieved, mostly because I have just felt really overwhelmed by everything – it has been very hot, I have been trying to get a lot of work done as well as taking care of things at the new apartment, and with all these extra things, my overwhelming feeling was “I don’t want this! I don’t want to deal with this!” But, as always, the Lord makes things work out again and I am left feeling that I somewhat overreacted… I will be very glad when the next two weeks are over and I can have a break.
Brief update October 20, 2008
I am still Internet-less, and still looking for a new apartment. Once again there was a place I really liked, which then didn’t work out… I may be getting a roommate in a new girl who is coming out to teach at the SIL school, so I am praying about that a lot and trusting the Lord that He has the right place in store for us. It is VERY hot at the moment, so even the simplest tasks, like scheduling to go and see an apartment, is planned as early as possible in the day, because I need to get to work, but also because it gets so hot that I am left with no energy if my day is too full!
Fiel: I was able to send out some more magazines, as well as books for all the graduates of the reading programme. I am, however, waiting anxiously for new books to arrive from Brazil so that I can mail the books for September through to January before I leave for South Africa on the 29th November – I have no idea whether this is going to happen or not! The other day we finally had some radio ads that aired, so that was exciting, but mostly I am feeling frustrated with not getting more done in the way of publicity and progress…
Construction: we have employed about 12 new men who are busy making cement blocks and pouring cement, but the building permit has once again been delayed. This comes after we all got our hopes up when it seemed it would imminently be approved, and now people in government seem to be complicating matters because they don’t want a foreign hospital built. We are perplexed and somewhat discouraged, wanting so much for the work to go forward, as it has a great influence on my plans, those of the Stolks, and of course the Lord’s name!
I have six weeks left before I fly, so if I can maintain reasonable energy, I am hoping to be productive! My final decision and action concerning Internet will go along with whether I find an apartment, so I am plodding along in the meantime…
Still no Internet of my own September 24, 2008
Well, this blog has become incredibly boring very quickly lately… I still don’t have Internet sorted out, since I don’t know whether I’ll be moving yet or not. A temporary or more than temporary solution might be Internet through a bluetooth cellphone, once I can get a cellphone contract in October, so I am trying to remain calm until at least then… Please be patient with me!
A snake in the grass September 8, 2008
Yesterday, after 3 or 4 times that she either overslept or cancelled on me over the last months, Claudia finally went to church with me. She and Rosalina are both Catholic (it remains a bit of a mystery with me how they ended up in a Pentecostal cell group) and even though I know one visit to an evangelical church will probably not have a miraculous effect, I really do want to try and subtly expose her to better theology… Shortly after Dr Woodrow started preaching, I noticed a small, thin snake enter the back of the church behind him (which is, after all, just a pole-and-bamboo structure) and seemed to crawl either into a hollow block, or between the cement blocks that form the preaching platform. I was curious to see what would happen (I didn’t think it could be very dangerous, being so small), and after about 5 minutes Claudia next to me, and Kent in the row in front of us, became slightly agitated. I couldn’t see, but the snake was crawling up onto the platform. It then went outside, though, and by the time Dr Woodrow noticed the excitement and asked what was going on, he was just like, “A snake? Outside? Okay,” and went right on preaching! The message was a review of a series of messages Dr Woodrow did last year on Christian love, and a painful reminder of how little effort one makes most of the time to intentionally show love to others. The service was otherwise remarkable for having a “record” number of Mozambican women present – Claudia, our regular widow, and 2 married ladies who have recently started attending with their husbands. Could our composition finally be becoming more balanced?
After the service we had lunch at my house and a bit of a visit, it’s so cool that gradually small and not-so-small talk in Portugues is becoming easier. I was glad for a few hours of peace and quiet before going to the missionary fellowship at SIL though. Angie and Allison will be there all week, since SIL is having its bi-annual (I think) conference. I went over there to hang out a bit on Saturday afternoon, and will probably miss them a bit, but I never complain too much about having the place to myself! The service was really nice – the youth group did the music and an SIL member from Botswana (they’re the only SIL people in the whole of Botswana) delivered the message. The kids have become really good at the music and it’s such a blessing, it’s strange how starved one can become for good, meaningful worship in song! The evening was only upset a bit by coming home and having no guard… After making Allison phone around unsuccessfully for an SIL guard to come, the guard finally pitched up at 19h30 – he had had to take his sick son to the hospital. I was glad he could come in the end! Today is a national holiday, as yesterday was the anniversary of the signing of the Lusaka agreements, and although I have a lot of work I can do, it’s as always a treat to be at home and be able to catch up on some other things as well.
